


Look Into My Eyes and Tell Me You’re Alive

by HappyMadFace



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Car Accidents, Character Death, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Not Beta Read, Older Dib (Invader Zim), Sad with a Happy Ending, Self-Harm, Suicide, Temporary Character Death, ZADF, ZaDr, Zim is Bad at Feelings (Invader Zim), but dibs only like 16, just zim wanting to protect his human <3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:40:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25017118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HappyMadFace/pseuds/HappyMadFace
Summary: Zim has seen Dib die time and time again in an endless sick cycle. Sometimes it’s burning, sometimes it’s electrocution. He finally realises how much he needs the human.(Agh, I’m horrible at summaries. Just trust me on this)
Relationships: Dib & Zim (Invader Zim), Dib/Zim (Invader Zim)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 79





	Look Into My Eyes and Tell Me You’re Alive

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to do something a little different from my other stories, so have this very interesting oneshot! It’s actually the longest one I’ve written ever at about 5,000 words! (Doesn’t seem like a lot but it’s a lot for me) 
> 
> This one shot might be a lil confusing but I assure you guys it’ll all work out in the end :).

It is 8:42 p.m. on October 24th. The surrounding city smells of gasoline and garbage with hints of fast food thrown in. The air is cold. The city is almost desolate, save for the few cars that drove by occasionally. However, there were two figures who tended to stand out from the landscape.

“You’ll never get away with this Zim!” One shouted breathlessly. “Not when I have this!” He holds up something that appeared to be a computer drive between his pale fingers.

The other figure, that was only a few feet from the other, snarled, “Give that BACK you wretched human!” He desperately ran after the boy, quickly gaining on him. He couldn’t hide a smirk. He couldn’t help but love these fights the two had. It was almost nostalgic… if that was the word. It was just the norm of their relationship. The sudden adrenaline, the sweat, the bruises. It was almost like his old training back on Irk’s old training grounds. Dib challenged him. It was like… a game in a way.

Dib felt the adrenaline course through him as he fled from his alien foe. He quickly locked eyes onto two double doors beside him and abruptly burst through them attempting to juke Zim. It worked for a short second until the alien too, burst through to double doors. To Dib’s surprise,  _ and horror,  _ he had now activated his PAK legs. 

Dib’s eyes widened, taking in the Irken’s confident stance. God, why did Zim always have to act like he was superior to everyone? Like he had  _ won?  _ Zim smirked at Dib’s reaction and dragged one of the spider legs across the glass door releasing an ear piercing screech. Dib instinctively covered his ears.

“Are you ready to give up yet, Dib-filth?” Zim asked, smiling almost like the Cheshire Cat himself.

Dib narrowed his eyes at the request, “HELL no!”

The boy promptly turned from Zim again, earning an annoyed groan from the alien. He ran to a small door, praying that it was anything other than a closet and was pleased to see a spiral of stairs leading up to what he assumed to be the top of the building. Not wasting any time, Dib locked the door behind him and started up the stairs, hopefully giving him some distance from Zim.

He quickly heard some pounding on the door below him and quickened his pace. After around three flights he heard the dreadful sound of a door being burst open and an irritated alien calling out to him. He climbed to the best of his ability on his shaky legs feeling the adrenaline leaving him. 

He climbed a few more flights before hearing Zim screech behind him. Dib was quickly pinned to the window behind him with a PAK leg. His chest heaved as he tried to pry the leg off of him to no avail.

“HA!” Zim laughed, “How does it feel, Dib?! To be weak and defenceless? Today you’ll meet your demise. Say goodbye to your precious Earth!”

“NO!!” Dib screeches. 

“YES!! Now give me back my computer drive at ONCE!”

Dib stared at the alien in horror. Who  _ knows  _ what Zim could do with that drive if he got his hands on it again. It would surely lead to world domination. And while he was  _ pretty _ sure Zim wouldn’t kill  _ him _ at this point, he didn’t know if that also spared humanity as a whole. 

Dib kicked and scratched at the alien, but all of his efforts were ultimately pointless. He finally just settled on waiting for what Zim was going to do next. That is, after he was done doing his evil monologue or whatever. Just another part of their “game,” or at least Zim’s part.

He huffed out a sigh of air waiting for the Irken to finish his speech. He really does like to talk, doesn’t he? It’s times like these where Dib prefers to think about other things. Really take in the environment and use it to his advantage. 

He glanced around the pallid staircase. It smelled horrible, like someone just up and died in there. A few spider webs here and there, a puddle of unknown liquid on the floor. Bleh.

He glanced up at Zim to see he was still talking before tilting his head to see out the large window. They were a couple stories up. High enough to get a good view of the city. The light shone onto the alien’s face as he did vibrant gestures and moves to emphasise whatever he was talking about. Probably conquering the planet. Yeah, he likes to talk about that.

Dib closed his eyes and tried his hardest to think. Alright, come up with a plan. What could he possibly do to get out of here… suddenly he heard a crack. It was a small one. Faint in the ears, something resembling ice cracking. 

Dib opened his eyes, glancing around him. His eyes caught onto the PAK leg pinning him to the glass from of the window. He could see a crack in the glass slowly inching its way around the window frame. 

Dib let out a gasp. “Zim-“ he breathed out in a whisper as if spoken any louder he would shatter the whole frame.

Zim, who was still monologuing paused his speech, “Not  _ now  _ Dib-monkey, Zim’s “on-a-roll.” So then after I accomplish-“

Dib kept his eyes glued onto the line dancing across the glass. It broke off into separate patches as if it was painting a horrid picture of his demise.

“ _ Zim.” _

__ Zim stopped speaking and narrowed his eyes, “For the love of IRK, what could be SO important that you  _ had  _ to interrupt the mighty ZIM?!”

Dib didn’t answer. He just kept his eyes glued above him. Zim irritability followed the humans gaze, finding it led up to a very unstable crack in the glass stretching across the frame. Zim tensed, backing up a bit himself.

“Dib-“

Dib heard the glass crack behind him. He felt dizzy with newfound dread welling up in him. He took a breath as he heard the glass shatter. Instantly he was falling.

Zim was on his feet in seconds. He lunged for the boy. Desperately grabbing for his hand or at least a part of his trench coat to hoist him up. It was like he was in slow motion. He just wasn’t fast enough to catch him. 

He stared out of the remains of the window for a second feeling the wind ruffle where he swore he had his wig earlier. Next thing he knew he was hurrying down to the ground level of the building.

When he found Dib he looked almost normal. There wasn’t much blood as surprising as that sounded. Must be internal…

“Dib?” Zim tried poking the human with the toe of his boot. 

No response. Gah, of course he wouldn’t respond. Humans are so stupid and fragile. If it was an IRKEN who had fallen they would be fine. But of course a human was not an Irken. Dib was probably just passed out.

Zim flipped the boy over onto his back finding Dib with a nasty nose bleed and a lack of glasses. Zim knelt down putting his antenna up to Dib’s chest. 

There was no beat. No steady thumping there once was in the human. No sign of universal life. He checked his pulse multiple times more in the neck, on the wrist, but here was no beat. 

Zim suddenly felt a wave of anxiety wash over him. How did this happen? So sudden? What just happened? 

And then the reality of the situation closed in. Dib’s gone. He’s gone now. Was this Zim’s fault? No… it couldn’t be it had to be someone else. He was at a loss for someone to point the finger at and heaved a quivery breath.

What now? Dib can’t be dead. He’s not, right? This is one of his plans. He’ll bounce back and call Zim stupid for ever believing he could actually die. Zim wanted to believe this. He wanted to. But deep down he knew the truth and gravity of the situation.

He looked around the grass and found Dib’s now cracked and bent glasses. Zim slipped them on the boy’s face, smiling a mourning smile at how Dib just seemed complete with them on. It just seemed right.

Zim knelt by the body for a while before composing himself. Feelings like this would definitely get him deactivated on Irk. He needs to calm down.

The alien found himself walking shakily up to a pay phone across the street and dialing a familiar number.

“Hello, 911 what’s your emergency?” A cheery woman asked on the line.

Zim took in a breath, suppressing the shakiness that was bound to radiate off of his voice. “Hello. I have just found a body on the side of the road.”

He quickly told the lady the street name and hung up. He hated talking to these stupid meat bags. 

He made it back to Dib and looked down at his body. Zim fought back his emotions trying to keep his unfeeling-invader persona.

He couldn’t help but let out a whimper, “Who’s going to protect Earth now, Dib-stink?”

And then, he left.

  
  


**…..**

  
  


It is 8:42 a.m. on October 24th. The air is crisp and chilled. Everytime Zim had to take in a breath he cringed at the frigidness. He really hated Fall, or whatever the humans called the season. It’s cold, the humans are caught sneezing and sniffling in classrooms spreading their disgusting GERMS everywhere. Utterly revolting. The one thing Zim could appreciate about the Fall was the leaves. Beautiful leaves. Each one eventually falling to its demise. None of the leaves could escape death. It made Zim laugh.

At the moment, Zim and Dib were running through on the sidewalk, Dib dragging him by the wrist. 

Zim groaned in agony, “WHY do you intend on making Zim’s life horrible? Why must you drag me into this AWFUL weather?”

Dib frowned letting go of Zim’s wrist and putting his hands on his hips, “Hey, I recall YOU being the one to ask me what humans like to do.”

“No, I recall asking you what  _ NORMAL _ humans like to do,” Zim said crossing his arms across his chest and looking away from the human, “You are anything  _ but  _ normal.”

Dib frowned, “Well yeah, but… oh just shut up and follow me.” Dib wore a blue scarf along with a matching blue hat atop his messing raven hair. He turned his back to Zim and started leading the way.

Zim begrudgingly followed. “Where are we even going?”

Dib glanced back at him, smiling, “You’ll see. You probably won’t like it, but I think it’s cool.”

Zim frowned at that, but kept walking. 

After a few more minutes of walking away from the city, they arrived at what looked like a little cottage in a town. It had what looked to be plants all around it, of course dying with the season change.

Zim raised an eyebrow and walked with Dib to the inside of whatever it was Dib was taking him to. It looked to be a restaurant, or a café. Zim didn’t quite understand the difference between the two. 

A waitress came up to talk with Dib as Zim admired the place. It was ok!  _ by human standards that is.  _ Zim would even say he liked the place. It was empty, and had lots of Earth flora inside. Flowers of all shapes and sizes. Zim was busy admiring some pastries in the large glass shell in front of them until he was poked by Dib.

“Come on, bug. Our table’s outside.”

The pair was escorted to a small garden table outside on a small stone patio. They were the only ones out there likely due to the cold weather. They were promptly handed menus and then left alone.

Zim turned to face Dib, who was already looking through the menu. “What one IRK are we doing out here?”

Dib looked around, “Oh yeah, duh.” He put down his menu and met eyes with Zim, “Welcome to my home away from home.” He put out his arms in an attempt at emphasis.

Zim furrowed his metaphorical eyebrows in confusion.

Dib’s eyes flickered around on the alien’s face and eventually sighed, dropping his arms, “You wanted something normal humans do, well… this is what I do. Er… come to. Visit?”

“But you’re always outside?” Zim asked in confusion.

“What? No, not outside- uh, look. This is just where I go if I want to get out of the city. This place is calming, you think so, right?”

The Irken would never in his right mind give Dib the satisfaction of knowing he was right, but he had to admit it  _ was  _ semi stress relieving. “Of course it’s not, Dib-stink. Your idea of relaxing is horrifying.”

Dib sighed cupping his face in his hands, “Yeah, I knew you would say that. But I know that you like sweets, right? And this place has  _ lots  _ of those. They even make the best waffles I’ve ever tasted.”

Zim scoffed, “I hope. I’d take  _ anything  _ that’s not Gir’s cooking. He put soap in waffles once, did you know that? Sometimes I think he’s trying to kill me.”

Dib nodded in understanding about how annoying the little robot could be. A waiter then came up to Dib and smiled asking for their orders.

A few minutes later and they had their food. Dib had ordered Eggs and bacon. He took a bite and was taken aback to see a disgusted looking Zim staring at him. “What?”

“You’re vile for eating that filth, Dib,” Zim said, taking a bite out of a waffle. He shivered at the wind blowing its way past them.

Dib caught on and gasped, “Oh man, are you cold?”

Zim let out the most offended gasp Dib had ever heard in his life. “Invaders don’t  _ get  _ cold Dib. We are immune to the elements,  _ strong,  _ WE-“ before he knew it something was draped upon his neck.

Beneath his wig his antenna caught the strong scent of Dib on him. He opened his eyes to see Dib’s scarf resting on his shoulders. He processes the information for a moment and then raises a hesitant eyebrow at his “nemesis.”

“Keep it,” Dib said, taking another bite of eggs, “I don’t recall you ever really wearing winter clothes through the years. I… y’know.” He felt his face heat up with newfound embarrassment.

Zim merely hummed, nuzzling the fabric closer in silent gratitude. He looked back up at the human, “So what do you find so relaxing about this place, Dib-filth?” And with that question Dib was off like a rocket telling Zim about the place. Apparently he was a  _ very  _ frequent customer.

He recalls Dib talking about the different kinds of plants and insects he’s found. He talks about frogs and tiny newts he’s found near the small pond in the middle of the garden. Speaking of that pond, after finishing their meal, Dib introduced Zim to all the koi fish in the water. Pointing each one out by name. (Zim’s personal favorite part of the trip).

It was an amazing experience. Not that Zim would ever admit that, but it was great spending genuine time together with Dib without them clawing each other's throats out. Dib even bought Zim cookies!!

The two walked side by side on the sidewalk on the way home. It was about mid-noon now, the sun levitated high in the sky. 

Dib nudged the alien, “Not bad, huh?”

Zim rolled his eyes, “It was mediocre to say the least Dib-thing. Far from anything Irk has, but yes, not  _ bad.” _

“I guess that means you liked it at least a little bit,” he seemed to say aloud to himself. He smirked, glancing at Zim, “mission accomplished.”

Zim shoved him playfully in the shoulder. Earning a laugh from Dib. Human laughs were… weird, at least Dib’s were. It was a rare treat to see him laugh. So care free. Zim couldn’t help but smile back.

The two walked in silence for a few moments before Zim felt a quick punch to his left shoulder. He looked up at Dib irritation apparent on his face. Dib kept his eyes on the pavement, “Punch buggy.”

Zim scowled and then roughly punched the human back on his shoulder, “Punch buggy.”

“Dude that’s not how it- you need to actually  _ see  _ a punch bug-” he was cut off by his reflexes cutting off Zim from making another throw at his shoulder. “Ack! Stop-”

“Never!” Zim announced, “You were the one that started this battle Dib!!”

“It’s not- it’s a  _ game  _ Zim!” Another attempt at a punch and Dib was running down the sidewalk with Zim close behind. He couldn't help but giggle at the situation. Of course Zim wouldn’t know about the game. He’s an alien for crying out loud.

Dib ran up the sidewalk, trampling stray leaves as he went. They were nearing the city. Traffic was starting to build up around corners, outlet stores grew more popular. There were a few people here and there. Dib tried the best of his ability to dodge them. He caught a look at Zim behind him. They’ve done this so many times. It was almost like a pastime to them. Something so familiar…

Dib came up on a crosswalk on his left. He could try and throw Zim off from there. Yes that could work… As he neared to the walk he hastily turned on his feet, wincing at the scuffing that was bound to be showing on his brand new red sneakers. He didn’t think there were any cars bound to come across the road.

Zim was still running after the boy. He reached out to grab him by the collar of his coat when he abruptly turned to the crosswalk. He frowned, regaining his footing. He was about to chase after Dib again when he caught a sound. He turned his head to see a huge truck coming up the street blaring it’s horn for warning. Zim’s eyes widened.

“DIB!!” His nasally voice called out.

Dib stopped his running for a moment, turning his head to look at his enemy's worried expression. He felt a wave of confusion and doubt before turning to see the large wheels of the truck. He was hit.

Zim stared at the scene. Unsure if anything that was happening was real. He dropped to his knees staring at the mess of gore. The body of what used to be his rival was now indistinguishable. Blood paved coated the road almost like paint.

Zim felt his being tense up. He heard screams and voices of other humans rushing around him.

Why did this feel so familiar?

How could this happen again?

...Again?

**…..**

  
  


It is 8:42 p.m. on October 24th. The moon is out sending beams of dull light onto small houses. Zim sat on one of the steps leading up to his base. He plucked at the grass beside him in a bored manner. 

The Dib hasn’t talked to him in awhile. He never tries to stop his plans, or even make eye contact anymore. When he talks to students it’s like a corpse trying to fit in. He smiles, he laughs, but it’s all wrong. It’s just… not Dib. Not  _ his  _ Dib, that is. He never speaks of the paranormal, he never tries to expose Zim, his outbursts are slim to none. It was odd. Speaking of odd, Dib has been absent from school for exactly three Earth days.  _ Three.  _ Dib’s always had perfect attendance. Where could he be? What was he doing? 

Zim sat there thinking to himself until he heard the door to his base open behind him. He heard the pitter patter of small feet walk up next to him and sit. Zim turned to face the Gir unit waiting for whatever it was it had to say.

It was a few daunting moments before Gir spoke, “I skinned the mailman; He smells like chocolate milk. Want to  _ seeee?” _

Zim stared at Gir for a minute. He sighed to himself not wanting to even think about whatever the Gir unit could have possibly done in the last hour. He stood up from his spot on the stair and pointed dramatically at the robot, “Gir! I need you to watch the base. I am going out to check on the Dib-monkey.”

“ **_AwwwwWWww_ ** , but I want to check on Mary too…”

“GIR! This is  _ important. _ What if this is one of Dib’s stupid plans to lure me out of my base?! I need you to stay here and keep guard.”

To Irken's relief the Gir unit sultuted to him, his eyes glowing a dark shade of red illuminating the yard around them before turning back to their usual cyan and waddling back into the house. Zim sighed a breath of relief at the compliance. 

When the Irken arrived at the Membrane household the windows were dark. Nothing unusual about that. The teens, though being night owls, tended to keep the lights off during the night. That was something Zim never understood about Dib’s family. Though, it did tell him whether Professor Membrane was making one of his rare appearances for the siblings. He  _ loved  _ keeping the lights on. Every single one.

But that’s beside the point! What was truly peculiar was Dib’s window being locked. Dib  _ never  _ locked his window ever. It was like a mutual… uh…  _ thing  _ for them. Maybe Dib just decided he didn’t want Zim breaking in anymore. Or… maybe he was hiding something?

Zim huffed out annoyed and prompted for phase two: Breaking Through the Front Door.

Zim casually made it over to the front of the house and let himself in. He ran past Gaz who was crammed up playing her portable Game-Slave on the couch. She didn’t even flinch, used to Zim and her brother's antics by now.

Zim sprinted up the stairs and to Dib’s room. He disgruntled to find no sign of the boy. Just his usual trashy room. He scoffed slowly making his way back down the stairs, kicking his feet out at seemingly nothing. He stopped at the end of the stairs.

“Didn’t find your boyfriend, huh?” Zim heard Gaz say from the couch in front of him.

“Where is the Dib-human?” Zim asked, ignoring the girl's comment.

He heard whatever game Gaz was playing pause and she looked up at him lazily from the couch cushions. “I dunno, probably out hunting Big-feets or something,” she stated unenthusiastically, “Why are you looking for him? And don’t say any of that “taking over the world” crap.”

Zim felt his cheeks heat up, uncomfortable with the turn of events. “Well, the Dib is  _ my  _ arch nemesis. I have to know what he is doing at all times, yes.”He puts his head up in a snooty fashion trying to hide his distress at the missing human.

Gaz reads through him and stares at the floor for a good moment, “So he’s gone quiet to you, too?”

Zim pauses and then nods in an unsure fashion.

The girl thinks for what feels like an eternity, and then proceeds to unpause her console. “Whatever. Just… go find him, ok? And tell him I’m going to eat his portion of the pizza if he doesn’t get back soon.”

Zim nodded again and made his way for the exit.

Zim walked down the moonlit sidewalk in a daze. What was the Gaz-sister talking about? Dib had stopped talking with her? Zim didn’t know how siblings worked but he’d honestly thought Dib and Gaz didn’t talk much in the first place. Yes, they’d always sit together at lunch, but he’d never really seen them having a genuine conversation. It was usually very one sided, Dib talking about his obsessions and theories while Gaz presses away at her console. Maybe Zim had been wrong about the pair's relationship, or maybe it was just a sibling thing. Either way, Dib had been acting strange.

He took a seat on a nearby bench. It was old and wooden, but would give off nice hospitality under the trees if it were a hot and sunny Summer day. 

Zim sat back thinking about his options at the moment. He of course wanted to look for Dib. That was a definite. What he was confused about was  _ how?  _ Where would Dib be?

He leaned his head back on the bench. He took in his surroundings. He had wandered into the start of a public hiking trail. Or park? Or forest. Maybe all of the above, but those were beside the point. What really caught the Irken’s eye was a single car parked on the gravel lot. 

Dib’s car. As dirty and dented as ever. Zim wanted to laugh at the irony of the situation.

He threw himself off the bench and ran to the car. He pressed his face up against the window and looked inside. There was nobody inside. 

Well  _ duh… _ of  _ course  _ nobody would be inside. Dib was probably out hunting cryptids like Gaz suggested.

After scoping out the car, Zim decided following the trail closest to Dib’s car would be the smartest move. Unless Dib chose the farthest trail to throw him off and now he was following the wrong one-

But Zim shook that thought off. Knowing Dib he probably wouldn’t do that. Unless he would? Now look what the Dib has done! Making Zim second guess himself!...Maybe he should turn around…

In fact, the alien was about to do just that until something caught the corner of his eye. A flashlight? 

Zim picked it up out of the brush and clicked one of the buttons. It flickered before dying out.  _ Of course. Knowing Dib he would never check the batteries before going out. That is… if this is his flashlight? _

Zim continued to trek down the path. He ended up taking off his wig and contacts to get a better view in the dark. He remembers the surprise and curiosity Dib had when finding out about his eyes and being able to see in the dark. Dib was enthralled, asking question after question. Honestly, Zim was too stubborn to answer most of them.

Zim continued to walk between trees when something caught his antenna. Dib?

He turned to his right. To his dismay, he didn’t find any Dib. He frowned, looking at the ground. Dib’s trench coat!

He picked up the fabric. He must be getting close. Dib never went anywhere without the stupid coat. Speaking of which, why would he take it off?

Zim raised an “eyebrow,” before continuing to the path and slugging the fabric over his shoulder. It was a few more minutes before he caught another whiff of something. He paused taking in the off scent.

It smelled like Dib, but… wrong. Like, something was off. He didn’t know how to describe it. Zim raised an antenna trying to sense a heartbeat in the area. He frowned, getting none. 

He looked around the brush, finding and picking up another one of Dib’s things. A backpack. He looked at the limited contents within it: a blank notepad, a water bottle, his phone, a tape recorder, and a chewed pen. Basically, the stuff Dib usually brings with him on his usual cryptid hunts.

Zim put his antenna back at the scent again. It wasn’t coming from the bag. It was coming from about a foot away. 

Zim hesitantly put the bag back on the ground in front of him. He paused for a good minute before stepping off of the trail and into the shaggy forest floor. 

“Dib?” He whispered, not sure of what he would find on the other side of the few trees lining his path.

There was no answer. Zim kept taking slow steps over to where his antennae were leading him. He had to pause for a second to stop himself from gagging at the strong smell protruding from the forest. Just when he thought that was enough, the strong scent of iron came into play. He winced, but kept moving on. When the scene came into his line of vision, he stopped, standing still and wide eyed.

Dib was here. Well, he body was at least. His soul was somewhere else by now. Dib’s body hung from a tree branch. Securely kept there by a noose around his neck like some kind of sick necklace. His face and arms were drained of all color, while his hands were a sickly shade of reddish-purple. He had puffy and bloodied cuts spreading across his arms in an odd fashion.

Zim felt his breath hitch. He put a claw up to his mouth in a silent awe before dropping to his knees. 

_ How could Dib do this to him?  _

_ Why does this keep happening to me? _

_ I don’t want to see him go anymore. _

The alien sat there on the soil, dead leaves crinkling beneath him. As silent tears fled from his eyes.

He could almost hear Dib’s excited squeals on how he didn't know Irken’s could cry and why he’d never seen Zim cry before. Zim would laugh at him and say Irkens were incapable at crying.

Now he just gripped his fist in silent anger and sadness. 

_ Stop killing him please- _

_ Burning _

_ Drowning _

_ Shooting _

_ Coughing _

_ Bleeding- _

  
  


**…..**

  
  


It is 8:42a.m. on October 25th. Zim wakes up with a start. He holds his head wondering how he could have fallen asleep in the first place, but that’s not the most important thing on his mind right now. He hears the doorbell going off.

He smoothes out his uniform and hastily puts on his disguise. The alien rushes out of his lab in a hurry and opens the base door.

There, standing right in front of him is Dib in the flesh. He stands there, trench coat and all. He is not drowned, he is not bloodied, he is not poised, he is  _ alive. _

Zim blinks unsure if the current situation is real. He pinches himself and recounts how he had no real memories in the dreams, so could he  _ technically  _ be in the real world now?

“Hey, Zim,” Dib spoke up, “You passed out yesterday while we were watching that movie so I went home. I was wondering if you wanted to finish it? I dunno…? Also, before you fell asleep you did this weird purring thing I d-“

Zim cut off the boys nervous chatter with a hug. Honestly Zim didn’t even know what he was doing at first, but he didn’t want to let go. He felt Dib tense up for a few seconds, most likely in confusion, but Zim didn’t care. He was just glad he could be with Dib. His real Dib in the real world. He could hear the steady pattern of his heartbeat. He could feel his chest breath up and down. He could feel the human’s body heat radiating off of him. The Irken let out a sigh of relief.

“Zim?”

After a few seconds without an answer, Dib hesitantly (and awkwardly!) hugged the alien back. Setting his head on his shoulder.

The two stood like at for what felt like hours before Zim stood back. He felt his chest bloom with a newfound feeling he'd never felt as he looked into the human’s chocolatey-gold eyes. He came back to reality to find himself purring and quickly clamped a hand over his mouth in an attempt to stop the oncoming embarrassment.

Dib took a step forward, concern riddled in his posture. “Zim? What’s going on?”

Zim shook his head and dragged the boy into his base by the wrist, kicking the front door shut behind him. They stood in the desolate living room together.

“Dib-human. I can’t tell you, at least not right now… but we can finish that movie right now.” He doesn’t want to tell Dib right now. No weakness. He needs a distraction.

“What, really? Right now?! But what about that little breakdown by the door? Don’t you wanna-“

“RIGHT NOW!” Zim interjected.

“ALRIGHT, FINE!! Jesus Christ… I’ll get the popcorn and some snacks and be right back, alright?”

Zim’s eyes flickered from one feature to the next on Dib’s face, and then he nodded. “Yes, ok.”

Dib smiled a warm smile, readjusting his glasses. “Great. See you around, Space-boy.” And with that he was out the door again.

Zim just looked after him and smiled to himself. 

**Author's Note:**

> I have no clue how to end things if you couldn’t tell. But yeah, I worked pretty hard on this and I hope you enjoyed :))).
> 
> I also might change the title, but I dunno yet.


End file.
